Best of the Gore Gazette - Page 5

#80 -
( The G.G. Film Series at "The Dive" )

#80 - ( The G.G. 1985 "Gore Film of the Year" is Stuart Gordon's The Re-Animator just edging out George Romero's Day of the Dead )

TO LIVE AND DIE IN L.A.: If it weren't for a G.G. subscriber bringing this to our attention, William Friedkin's newest action gem would have passed by unnoticed as it's bland "FBI drama" ad campaign and heavily-touted soundtrack by limp wheezers "Wang Chung" totally disguise what is in essence a multi-million dollar, mindless violence classic…
BARBARIAN QUEEN: …Filmed in Argentina on what appears to be cardboard sets, this 70min shorty is low on originality but high on action, violence and nudity with over 50% of the film stock displaying a naked breast, buttock or beaver being raped, caressed or beaten.

#81 - PRAY FOR DEATH: …exalted Ninja potentate Sho Kosugi acts as a slant-eyed Charles Bronson, exacting vengeance single-handedly on a group of American thugs and corrupt cops who trash his sushi restaurant, rape and murder his wife and run over his #1 son with a pick-up truck…No matter how much you despise kung-fu epics, Pray is so violent it will win you over even if your parents were killed at Pearl Harbor.
IGOR AND THE LUNATICS: amateurishly embarrassing in the extreme, with a grainy look and shaky hand-held camera that almost resembles a super 8 high school project, with hammy non-professional actors denigrating the flick even worse. Furthermore, Mary Ann Schacht (the heroine) is ugly beyond belief: her zitted-out face and huge fat ass evoking audience pity every time she appears onscreen.

          (Posters for sale in issue #81 include: Russ Meyer's: Beneath the Valley of the Ultravixens and Up! - $9.00 each - J4HI )

#82 - FOXTRAP: Pity the plight of poor Fred Williamson, aging Negro macho-dude who struck success during the blaxploitation cycle of the early `70's with such chicken 'n' ribs favorites like Black Caesar, Hell Up in Harlem, etc. and refuses to believe that the market for black action quickies has long since dried up.

DELTA FORCE: Menahem Golam and Yoram Globus , those wacky Israeli immigrants who head up Cannon Releasing have unleashed to the movie-going public the world's first Zionist exploitation film…

#83 - Editorial ( Rick comments on the fact that the popularity of VCRs is hurting the theatre biz - J4HI )

BOYS NEXT DOOR: Easily Spheeris' best work to date, St Elmo's Fire rejects Maxwell Caufield and Charlie Sheen shine as the brain-twisted dorks with Penelope adding hefty doses of graphic gore and unflinching sadism that had most art bears heading for the exit doors before a half hour of the film had un-spooled.
APRIL FOOLS DAY: …To further illustrate just how awful April really is, the G.G. staff caught this film at a (private) screening room. At this supposed "high-brow" event, a narcoleptic projectionist skipped the entire 4th reel of the film without us, the press, nor any of the coke-addled Paramount brass catching the error until the end, when the running time didn't check out. It is doubtful there could be a truer test of a turkey.
3:15 THE MOMENT OF TRUTH: …A fine example of the dangerous trend warned about in our editorial; in the past years a film of this caliber would have had them lining up on 42nd St. for a block to see the nasty wetback gang get their just desserts, but 3:15 brought in less than $100,000 in one week at over 50 locations in the metro area. Support independent sleaze - see 3:15 today!

MURPHY'S LAW: Sleaze fans should give a special commendation to Charles Bronson who over the past three years has consistently shirked artistic merit of any degree in an attempt to bring us the most base, violent and racially-stereotyped exploitation potboilers around. Whether blowing away Negroes in the ever-popular Death Wish series or saving poor Hispanics who get their testicles nailed to the floor by Nazi war criminals in The Evil That Man Do, one can always count on Charlie to deliver something to offend everyone.

#84 - GIRLS SCHOOL SCREAMERS: Tediously long at it's scant 83 minutes Girls is yet another in a long line of Troma deceptions that dupe patrons with a juicy ad and poster campaign, but end up being embarrassingly amateur student films.

#84 -
( Dyanne Thorne "Live at The Dive" )

#85 - ALIENS: Perhaps after nearly six years of churning out this rag we've become jaded, but his summer's biggest box office smash from newly-proclaimed Hollywood whiz kid James Cameron amounts to nothing more than an extremely overlong 140 minute mediocrity that could have been more accurately titled Mrs. Rambo Meets the Space Monster.
MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE: Having consistently panned Stephen King over the years for virtually all of his cinematic ventures, the humble staff of the G.G. is forced to eat crow and commend the dude on his first directorial effort.

#86 - DEAD END DRIVE-IN: Possibly the worst event to befall modern Australian exploitation cinema was the overwhelming crossover success of George Miller's Mad Max, as for almost a decade now every kangaroo humper who manages to scrape together a few bucks and land a 16mm camera has been force-feeding his vision of a futuristic post-nuke punk society, via Grade-Z low-budget exports, to unsuspecting patrons of the world.

#87 -


ARMED RESPONSE: This new release from Fred Olen Ray, the heir apparent to the Al Adamson throne of trash filmmaking was slated for prejudicial review since the sleaze helmer tried to bone your editor's girlfriend behind his back a couple years ago. However, 5 minutes into this wild, mindless actioner all grudges were forgotten as Armed quickly sets a fast-paced stride of violence, sex and bad acting that will easily win over even the most critical viewer.
CRAWLSPACE: …Aside from a few bloodless and off screen killings, nothing occurs throughout Crawlspace's first 50 minutes and by the time it's revealed that Kinski's psychosis is caused by his Nazi war criminal heritage, most gorehounds will have either fallen asleep or walked out into the grindhouse lobby hoping to score some crack in order to keep them awake through this abysmal dud.

#88 - EYE OF THE TIGER: …It's hard to believe only 8 years ago Gary Busey received an Oscar nomination for his lead portrayal in The Buddy Holly Story, but his career plummet is our gain as Eye is easily the best mindless actioner to be released this year.
KING KONG LIVES: It seems that Kong somehow survived his fall from the World Trade Center and did not contract any social diseases from Jessica Lang…

#89 - ( The G.G.s "Gore Film Film of the Year" is Demons - J4HI )

Editorial: We usually feature a juicy shot from the "G.G. Gorefilm of the Year" winner on our cover, but haughty dickweeds at L.A.'s Ascot Entertainment (Demons domestic distributor), when notified of their much-sought-after prize declined to accept it or even provide a still as " the company's image has significantly upgraded and we no longer wish to be connected with nor promote our exploitative corporate origins" Well Fuuuuuck You!
WANTED: DEAD OR ALIVE: The entire concept of casting the obviously European star Rutger Hauer as the fictional great-grandson of Steve McQueen's Americana bounty hunter from the late `50's western TV series is about as plausible as signing Barbara Streisand to play the Jew-killing daughter of Adolph Hitler in a prime time miniseries…
DEADTIME STORIES: …The only problem a packed 42nd St. audience found with the film was an embarrassingly obvious herpes blister on the lips of the poor actress who plays Little Red "Running" Hood, eliciting groans and lewd comments every time a close-up of her face appeared on screen.

#89 -

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